Surrogacy - no, just no
If you are still on the fence about surrogacy, where a woman is made pregnant using assisted reproduction, and then gestates a baby for somebody else to remove and bring up as their own, try this mind experiment.
Imagine a much-wanted baby whose mother dies in childbirth. This baby has a loving father and a warm and welcoming extended family, who will do their best to give her a wonderful life. Tragically, the baby’s mother dies giving birth to her.
Now imagine a much-wanted baby in the womb of a “surrogate mother”. This baby has been commissioned by two loving parents, who have a warm and welcoming extended family, who will do their best to give the baby a wonderful life. This baby is taken away from her “surrogate mother” shortly after birth, and given to somebody else.
Why is it that we all know that the first baby is the victim of a terrible tragedy, but we are expected to pretend that the second baby is the luckiest little baby in the world, with two parents who wanted her *SO MUCH* that they went to all this extra trouble over and above the standard procedure, to get her? As far as the two babies are concerned, they are in exactly the same position. They have been abandoned by the woman whose body has been their only home so far, whose heartbeat and voice have been their soundtrack, and whose breasts they are hardwired to seek for sustenance.
It’s very easy to dismiss those of us who find surrogacy to be selfish and cruel with accusations that we are reactionary. And of course, that we are homophobic and don’t believe that gay men should be fathers. Be assured that in my case, homophobia doesn’t enter into it. I don’t think anyone, male or female, gay or straight, married or single, should use the services of a “surrogate mother”. The egotistical desires of adults are not important when set against the rights of newborn babies.